The Magic of Thinking Negative and Some Much-Needed Self-Help Books

Disclaimer: This post contains swear words in order to bring clarity of thoughts. Please do not proceed if you get offended. But if you do, you might find it interesting.

I was introduced to “Positive Thinking” when I was just the age when I should have been indulged in Superhero comics. Nevertheless, I got interested in knowing that there is connection of how people think and how it affects their lives.

I happened to read some self-help books– I now consider many of them as bullshit–  and they gave me an idea that the way I used to think was negative and I needed to change it to positive. And like a self-help addict, I started working on my thoughts and following those bizarre suggestions mentioned in these books.

I found it very difficult not to concentrate on negative thoughts or so-called glass-is-half-empty concept. And after a lot of attempt on checking my thoughts I finally gave up and accepted how I thought– negative or positive.

However, I have now realized that thinking negative is not that bad, rather it is a vital thing to have. For example, it’s better to negatively think before shitting that water might not be coming through your toilet tap than afterwards, trying to find a water or orange juice bottle, with a sticky ass and feeling same as the bearded guy in below image felt (only if you understand).

The guy in the middle feeling guilty after not thinking negative.

The guy in the middle feeling guilty of not thinking negative. (A scene from Delhi Belly)

Another example can be that of thinking negative and eating less before a long bus journey is better than thinking positive for eating full plate Biryani and having to stop the bus midway and shitting in a field by the road with a Bisleri bottle in your hand and having all the fellow passengers  waiting for you and cursing you.

I have found my reasons to believe that negative thinking can be a life-saver.

But let me again go back to the past. Back then, I used to try hard to think positive but rather ended up thinking negative. To do the same, I stopped reading my text books for the intermediate exams and concentrated on self-help books. To read how-to-succeed was so interesting that I didn’t care about actually following them in life. What an ass I was. And the result was passing my 12th exam somehow with 60.4%. Luckily, I got a decent university which required minimum 60%.

Thanks to God that I finally realized that books like “The Magic of Thinking Big” and “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” are not very useful in this world, practically. Rather we need books like “The magic of being an asshole” or “Seven Hundred Habits of Highly Asshol-ic People”.

The former books are not going to help because in certain situations you need to turn yourself into a real asshole to deal with m****f***rs that appear in your life to rape your mood in order to execute the God’s plans to make you stronger– which is really true.

So I would like to mention a list of few self-help topics which are much-needed to be written about:

  1. How to be an asshole when you are surrounded with more assholes? I think it is really important to be an asshole when you are surrounded with more of the same kind and they are trying to piss you off in every way possible. I don’t think there is a self-help book on this topic.
  1. How to piss somebody off when it becomes really important? Sometimes it becomes a responsibility to piss someone off and leave them irritated in order to maintain the balance of the world (Sansar ka Santulan).
  1. How not to be “kind”? Sometimes you are so kind and soft to people that they really take advantage of your softn-ass. So one has to learn how to be cruel. Otherwise sometimes, people in general take you for a fool and assholes in specific take you for a fuck.
  1. How not to give a damn? Sometimes, being very responsible and a hard-worker becomes like fucking your own ass roughly with a cactus. So it becomes very important not to give a fuck about the world and let it be on its own than putting you own ass on fire.

So in my opinion, thinking Glass-Half-Empty is better than having the glass full of liquefied crap.

Negative thinking is vital for life. But don’t overdo it because even masturbation is healthy only if done 3-4 times in a week not 3-4 times a day.

As far as self-help Books are concerned, “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big” by Scott Adams is better than most others.


So what do you think?

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